2China4Tian

Pre-Surgery

2008-11-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

Tian had her 2nd surgery in September. Here are some photos of her hand and us just before the operation. She did very very well. They separated her fused finger and it really looks great. She is just blosoming...her speech has exploded and she is doing great at pre-school. I will post some photos of after the surgery once I get them off the camera! That's it for tonight!

Uniforms!

2008-11-06T23:49:00.001-07:00

Now that Clio has turned 4 and moved up to Pre-kindergartern, her school requires her to wear uniforms each day. Mom was not crazy about this policy, but Clio has done surprisingly well with it.

Grandma's Cabin

2008-11-06T23:47:00.000-07:00

Here the girls are having fun at Grandma's cabin in the woods!

Clio gets glasses!

2008-11-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

This summer, Clio got her first pair of glasses. She insisted on princess glasses with a jasmine jewel of course!

Tea Party!

2008-11-06T23:42:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos from a tea party that Clio went to hosted by her friend Sam. The girls had a blast! It was a combination birthday party/going away party as Sam and her family have now moved to China! We miss them, but it's been really fun to read the blog of their adventures.

Flower Girl!

2008-11-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

Clio was thrilled to be the flower girl when our friend Brian got married to his long time love from China! Our friends Brian and Catherine's son, Tate was the ring bearer! It was a wonderful day!

Our family

2008-11-06T23:32:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos of Tian learning to drive and Clio getting ready to take over her grandpa's excavation business. Also featured is our newest addition, Mel, a formerly stray cat who now runs our household.

Exchange Student

2008-11-06T23:26:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos of our exchange student Stanley from China. He is from ChengDu and stayed with us for three weeks in July.

Clio's 4th Birthday!

2008-11-06T23:06:00.000-07:00

So, I've been awful about updating this blog, but I'm going to try and get caught up. It is now November, but imagine yourself back in July...on the 4th, Clio turned 4. Here are a few photos from her school party.

More Birthday!

2008-11-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

Here's our Birthday Girl! I love the one of her making a wish...you can almost see her thinking!

2008-11-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

Here we are with Dane's parents at the July 4th celebration in Parker! And a final one of Clio with a special princess cake made by our friend Debbie!

Still here....

2008-07-03T22:05:00.000-06:00

Helloooooo....is anyone still reading this? I know I haven't posted in several months. We are doing great, time just seems to get away from us. I'm going to do a few posts tonight and try to catch up a bit.

Here are a few photos of Tian enjoying the Sunday paper and helping out in the kitchen. She still has her cast on in the stacking ones. She got it off about 6 weeks after the surgery and has been doing awesome. The surgery really improved her function and the scar isn't too bad. She went to a few session of Occupational Therapy, but mostly just plays and learned to use her hand better.

Her next surgery will be Sept. 5 on both hands. Not really looking forward to that, but want to get it over with. She is really growing, walking, running and now beginning to talk! It's fun to see how far she has come. She also moved up to the toddler room at school and it really blossoming there.

The girls Spring school photos

2008-07-03T22:02:00.000-06:00

Misc. cute photos

2008-07-03T22:01:00.000-06:00

Girls in their dresses!

2008-07-03T22:00:00.000-06:00

Parade!

2008-07-03T21:59:00.000-06:00

In June, we got to ride in the back of a dump truck in the local parade!

Tian's first haircut!

2008-07-03T21:57:00.000-06:00

She didn't enjoy it much...but she looked so sweet afterwards!

Dress Up and Rocking Chairs are Fun!

2008-07-03T21:52:00.000-06:00

Tian's first ice creat cone!

2008-07-03T21:49:00.000-06:00

There is nothing like seeing the joy on a child's face with they first figure out how fun it is to smear ice cream all over their chin...and even better when they discover it tastes good too!

Stick Art in the Park

2008-07-03T21:48:00.000-06:00

In April, we had an exceptionally nice Spring day and decided to go find an installation of "stick art" that had been placed in a nearby park. This was really interesting and made entirely from sticks woven together without any string, metal or anything to hold it. It looked like a little natural hobbit house! Clio thought it was neat and Tian likes any excuse to be outside!

Making Easter Eggs

2008-07-03T21:41:00.000-06:00

For the first time we did Easter Eggs as a family! Clio thought it was fun, but Tian didn't really get it.

Easter Egg Hunt

2008-07-03T21:39:00.000-06:00

Here are some photos from the Easter Egg Hunt at our church this spring. The girls really had a fun time!

Update on Tian

2008-03-14T17:21:00.000-06:00

Here's our little girl on surgery day. She is still looking a litte out of it here, but it is amazing how quickly she's recovered. The cast doesn't stop her a bit. She crawls like crazy making a clunking sound with it. But even more exciting, last Sun. she took her first unassisted steps and is currently obsessivly practicing her new walking skills!

Big sister helps feed Tian.

Look ma....no hands!

This photo is Clio and I at "the land," a beautiful piece of property Dane's parents own near Castle Rock. We drove out there when the weather was so nice just to enjoy it.

Tian's Surgery

2008-02-29T19:46:00.001-07:00

We took Tian in at 6 a.m. this morning for surgery on her left hand to remove the webbing between her thumb and index finger. She was surprisingly calm and even slept while we waited for the surgery. Dad went in with her while the put her under and said she didn't even cry. It was hard to wait, but after 2.5 hours the Dr. came out and told us that all went well and she would have great mobility with her thumb once the cast was off. They did do a skin graft to cover the area. We went in and were there when she woke up. She has a big pink cast with hearts and sparkles on it. I'll post some photos soon. We are home now and she is pounding her highchair tray with the cast...hungry as usual.

Here are some photos from before the surgery:

Still Here...just busy!

2008-01-15T08:10:00.001-07:00

A few of you have asked....yes, we're still here and doing well. I'm
working on my new blog but am not ready to post it yet. Going back to
work has really put a crunch on my blogging time. Well, that and Dane
and I have been watching "Lost" on DVD and are somewhat obsessive
about it right now so that is occupying what little personal time
we've got in the evenings. Hopefully I can get back to blogging soon.

Tian is doing well adjusting to her new day care, but it still a bit
weepy about it. She has started cruising and I think walking is soon
to follow. Her first surgery is scheduled for the end of Feb.
Hopefully more soon....I've got lots of great photos, just no time to
post.

Jeannene

Plants and First Day of School

2007-12-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Here is Clio with her plants. Last year she grew an Amaryllis plant and really enjoyed watching it. They are so fast growing it's really fun for kids. This year, we're a bit behind due to being in China, so we won't have flowers for Christmas, but we started three bulbs. An Amaryllis, paperwhites and calla lilys. Clio is really proud of them and checks them every day and waters them herself.

Today was Tian's first day at school (a.ka. daycare). We wanted to give her an easy transition, starting with just a couple hours a day and working her way to full days, so she started today and will be going full time when I head back to work after New Year. It was an adventure for mom to try and get both girls ready, but they were surprisingly cooperative. Here are a few photos. So, yes I've got the house to myself for a couple of hours to do the final Christmas preparations and a little blogging! I wanted to let everyone know that I am planning to transition to a new blog soon. I want to have a general blog rather than just a travel journey blog. I'm also experiencing some frustration with the way blogger does photos and video (which I can't get to post at all!), so once I figure out what the new one will be, I'll let you all know. I imagine once I'm back to work, it will be harder to find time to do blogging, but I'm hoping to keep it up with some regularity. It's been such a great way to stay in touch with everyone and at the same time have a record of what is going on for our family.

Anyway, here are the photos of the girls as we are about to leave for school. Clio was VERY happy that Tian was finally going too!

Watch me eat!

2007-12-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

One of the gaps in Tian's skill set was that she was never given the opportunity to feed herself. I suspect that they just had to shovel the food in with all the kids at the SWI and also, probably didn't want to deal with the mess of self-feeding. So our baby has been clueless about the concept that she can actually pick up food and put it in her mouth. We've really been working on this...and have a breakthrough. Here are some photos of her with a large piece of cracker. The funny thing is she will only pick up really large pieces of food and gnaw on them...once it's gets too small she won't even try. But we are so happy to be making progress.

I should probably also update you on her appointment with Early Intervention. She had her assessment last week and it was very interesting and the staff were SO nice. I highly recommend doing this for anyone who has adopted. Even if your child doesn't qualify for services, you'll learn a lot from the appointment about where they are at developmentally and how you can help in areas they may be a bit behind in.

Interestingly, Tian's fine motor skills, which I was most concerned about, tested about average for her age. I was really surprised at this because she doesn't self-feed and struggles to grasp some things. However, while there she demonstrated a pincher grasp between her thumb and middle finger which was a surprise to me. However, they felt she was behind in both gross motor skills and problem solving for her age. She has "low muscle tone," particularly in the hip area. I'm really not worried about this because she has made such progress in the short time she's been with us. Also, with problem solving, I think it is a matter of experience rather than skill. A lot of the activities she needed to do where things like reacting to a mirror or putting blocks in a cup. I think she is capable of this, but was a bit overwhelmed with all the "stuff" at the assessment and carefully watching the new adults. She also hasn't had the opportunity to do many of these tasks yet. In the end, they decided that she qualified for the services of a occupational therapist. She will be seeing one once a month.

Matching Dresses!

2007-12-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

One of the cool things about having two girls is matching dresses. I'm not sure why exactly, but it's REALLY cute to put them in. Thanks to Elise for the gift of these stripy ones!

Special Delivery from China!

2007-12-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

OK, I know this might not be totally PC, but it was too cute not to post!

Meeting with Dr. Benson

2007-12-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

Today, we met with Dr. Benson, a pediatric orthopedist. She is the one who talked to us at length when we were learning about Tian's condition. She is also an adoptive mom and has several other little girls adopted from China among her patients.

She took a lot of time to explain to us how Tian's hands and feet formed in while she was in the womb and what likely happened to make them form differently. She believes it is a genetic condition called Split Hand and Foot disorder where the mid-portion of the hands/feet does not continue to form correctly. She drew me pictures of how it likely developed and really gave a lengthy explanation. She says ectrodactly (which is what we originally thought Tian had) is similar, but is characterized by a "less organized" and more erratic pattern of bones.

Basically, Tian's hands and feet began to form in the usual way, but then the middle parts did not continue to develop, although on her right hand, all the bones formed, but the middle two are fused at the very top, so did not split.

As we had thought and hoped, Dr. Benson does not recommend any surgery on Tian's feet. However, her recommendations on her hands were a bit surprising to us.

She recommends two surgeries. The first would be done very soon and would take the webbing out on her left hand between the thumb and first finger. This would be fairly simple as far as surgeries go, but she would have a cast on that hand for four weeks. It will give her a lot more mobility and flexibility with that hand and much better ability to grasp.

The second surgery would be more complex and involve both hands. We would probably do this sometime in the fall after she is fully recovered from the first surgery. On the right hand, she would split the fused finger into two fully working fingers. She will need a skin graft to make up the skin in between the two fingers. The Dr. plans to use some tissue from her left hand and also some from her groin area if necessary. Also on her bent pointer finger which she believes is missing a tendon, she will fuse the top joint, so it will be straight, but the top joint will not move.

On left hand, she will actually move the pointer finger over into the gap left by the missing finger. This was a surprise to us, but seems to make sense. This would allow Tian to have three fingers together rather than a large gap. Some of the tissue from the gap would also be used to help reconstruct the fingers on the other hand that are being separated. Dr. Benson believes this will be much more functional and also will look better; as she gets older this missing space would continue to widen and be much more noticeable. Currently, with this hand, Tian tends to pick things up between the middle fingers using the space of the missing finger, rather than put things between her thumb and fingers. The Dr. believes this change will help with that function.

After the second surgery, Tian will have casts on both hands for four weeks. I'm sure that will not be fun, but when it is all done she will have two very functional hands, one with four finger and one with three fingers.

We like Dr. Benson very much. She and her staff are very nice and we have a lot of confidence in them. She showed us several plaster casts of all kinds of different kids hands that she has operated on. Two of them were Chinese adoptees. (Not that it matters really, but it was interesting.) I feel very confident in her and the fact that she comes so highly recommended.

Right now, Dane and I are feeling that we would prefer to do the surgeries here at home rather than travel to Philadelphia to the other surgeon all things being equal. We need to make sure our insurance will cover these surgeries. And we need to give it a bit more thought and make sure we are making the best choice for Tian.

Dress Up for Movie Night

2007-12-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

We have started a new tradtion at our house of movies and popcorn on Friday evenings. Clio insisted that the whole family also play dress up for this one because we were watching Cinderella III.

Winter Fun!

2007-12-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

Clearly, Tian LOVES her snowsuit!

Sleddin' Sisters!

Clio and her new friends!

Tian's First Ortho Visit

2007-12-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

Tian had her first visit today with a pediatric orthopedist and we finally got a glimpse of just what is inside her little hands and feet. It was actually very interesting. Poor Tian screamed as if she was being tortured during the xrays though.

Mostly good news, although we haven't heard directly from the top doc. yet, just the PA at this point...In her little feet, she has the bones for most of four toes, but only the "tips" for two. The good news is that everything is aligned well and she shouldn't need any surgery for her feet (YEA!)

Her hands are a bit more complicated. The fused finger does indeed have all the bones for two full fingers. The xray could not show if they are fused at the very top or just close together, however the rest of the joints are separate. It may be possible to separate into two full working fingers. It will depend on the nerves and some other stuff. We may have a decision to make on that as it does function pretty well as is. We'll see what the Dr. has to say about how it will grow in the future and the risks/benefits involved in separation.

Her hand with the missing finger just has one bone for the missing finger deep down in the hand, the others are just not there. The good news is that everything here is aligned well too. We were worried there might be some bones going the wrong way and causing spreading, but there aren't.

The PA says the webbing between her thumb and first finger is a pretty easy fix and that is the part that is actually causing her the most issues with grasping. She also has a first finger that is curved inward and can't be straightened. This is still more of a mystery as the xrays didn't really show what the issue might be. The bones appeared to be normal in the xray. We are hoping the Dr. will know more.

The PA is supposed to consult with the Dr. this week and call us back before the end of the week. I feel very relieved to finally see what is going on inside her hands and to learn what we need to do. Now that we have xrays, we are also planning to send them to a Dr. at Shriner's that we have been in touch with. We will have to decide where to have her treated once we know more.

More LYG photos

2007-12-03T00:01:00.001-07:00

Here are the photos that were taken on disposable cameras we send to LYG SWI. It is a gift to have a glimpse into Tian's life before she joined our family.

Holiday Ball

2007-12-02T22:53:00.001-07:00

We've been trying to do some special things with Clio that only BIG sisters can do. She went to the Holiday Ball on a date with her dad and had a great time! Here are some photos to give you an idea:

No we didn't fall off the deep end...

2007-12-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

But it sure felt like we were in some deep dark hole for about a week. Seriously, I had conveniently forgotten just how hard that transition home is. (I guess it's something like labor pain...if you let yourself really remember you might not do it again...) But we survived it and it appears that we finally have both kids back on a fairly normal sleeping schedule.

While we had planned to have Clio attend her preschool part time until I go back to work in January, we came to the decision very quickly, that she needed to go full time. She's always been such an adaptable child, that I didn't realize how important her schedule really is to her. There was a moment in China where we were eating dinner and out of the blue she teared up and said, "I miss my Spanish teacher..." Her little heart was breaking missing all her friends and activities. So, she went all week last week and has been much much more enjoyable to be around. Still a bit jealous that Tian stays home with me, but I assure her that we are only doing boring stuff and getting her ready for school in a few weeks. I'm feeling a bit guilty about this as it also is helping me big time to be able focus solely on Tian during the days, but I do think it's for the best.

As for little Tian, she is doing better and better each day. We had a few days when we arrived home where she was crying inconsolably for many hours at a time. I now believe it was a combination of sensory overload, fear, tiredness and hunger. While we knew she was a good eater in China, she has turned into a major food inhaler once home. Seriously, she eats all the time and is eating more the Clio most days. I don't know if she is making up for lost time or having a huge growth spurt, but we are trying to keep up. Luckily she will eat anything so we are bulking her up with healthy foods...unfortunately, she will not feed herself, so it occupies a lot of parental time shoveling the food in. Part of the way we finally got her to sleep through the night was giving her a huge meal of cereal and fruit prior to bed time.

We have also been running her around the a variety of medical appointments with more to come this week. I will be glad when we know what to expect regarding surgery and future medical treatments.

She continues to improve her motor skills daily and I don't have a lot of concerns about her development, other than the fact that she doesn't put food into her mouth. She has already learned a few signs of baby sign language and is crawling and pulling up like crazy.

So now I'm going to go back and post some photos from our last days in China and our first days home.

Here are a few from our last couple of days in China...

Including the infamous sake photo...I ended up leaving about half of this for whoever cleaned the room. They probably had a really good day!

Here are some photos on the famous red couch...the girls weren't cooperating a whole lot so the photos worked better with parents involved. Unfortunately, there wasn't anyone around we felt comfortable asking to take one of all four of us.

Here are some others around the White Swan Hotel.

We finally found someone to take one of all of us near the waterfall. Yes, this is IN the hotel.

Finally back home...we went on lots of walks trying to get the girls some sun and help reset their internal clocks. The swing was not a big it with Tian...just one of many ways she is the opposite of big sister...

Some photos of Tian learning about her new home:

Despite the smile here, Tian is much more cautious and observant than her big sister. She is getting used to riding "Blue" but it's been a gradual process. Big sister was riding this thing standing on one foot at her one year birthday. It amazing to see the different personalities already at work at this young age.

Here they are in their new double stroller, courtesy of my friend Kelly. I would have killed to have this with us in China.

On Dec. 1, our Homeowner's Association did a nice event with carriage rides and Santa. No Santa photos through, Clio was terrified of him. We feel really lucky to live in such a nice neighborhood.

We're Home

2007-11-18T11:38:00.000-07:00

We are home and safe and sound. The trip really wasn't bad. Went much better than I had feared, but was of course long and tiring.

Tian did not sleep a lot last night and seems pretty confused by the time change. She was up for the morning about 3:30 a.m. and now is sleeping probably thinking it is night. I plan to wake her after about two hours and try to keep her awake for awhile. Clio did pretty well and was in bed by 9 p.m. last night, but up around 5 a.m. She should adjust pretty quickly, I think. Dane and I are planning to take shifts. I take the last nights and he takes the early mornings until Tian gets adjusted. All three of them are actually napping right now.

We took the girls out for a walk and to the park early this morning. The more sunlight they get, the easier it is to adjust their internal clocks. I can't say the swing was a big hit with Tian so far.

I'm going to keep this short as I've got lots to do and a rare opportunity with the rest of the household asleep.

Heading Home

2007-11-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! We are in the final countdown to our journey home. I can't wait to be back in the states and get Tiany settled into a regular schedule...however, I can't say I'm too excited about the flight. Many of the folks we've been hanging out with here leave tomorrow, so we may be a bit lonely. We leave way too early in the morning on Sat. Have to be packed and in the lobby at 5:20 a.m. Ick. So this is likely to be my last post from China. We take the oath tomorrow for Tian's citizenship and have a bunch of last minute shopping to do, and then packing in the evening, so I don't imagine I'll be on the blog much. I'll probably do a final email check for the great adventure home begins.

I have more photos of the girls, and we are heading over in their matching outfits to the White Swan tomorrow for some red couch photos. But internet is seriously slow again this evening, and I just don't feel like fighting to get the photos up here.

I also got our cameras that we had sent to the SWI developed and have some additional LYG photos. Many have different kids in them, most I don't recognize, so it will be interesting to see if some of the rest of you do.

I wanted to do an update on Tiany (as Clio and I like to call her) before signing off. She is really blooming before our eyes. Despite the update that she wasn't sitting up, wasn't crawling, basically wasn't doing anything...she does all that and more. Each day she shows us a new skill. She crawls very well, both army style and a full crawl when she wants. She can pull up and balance a bit, but is wobbly still. With daddy's assistance she's has taken some tentative assisted steps. She grabs everything in site and flings it to the floor. She will eat anything and everything we put in her mouth and while she hadn't demonstrated this before, tonight she started putting food into her mouth, only big items, but it is great progress. She smiles and giggles a lot. And while she still is fairly fixated on mommy, she's decided that daddy is not such a bad guy after all. In fact, she won't go to sleep easily for mom, so that's become dad's job. While originally she wouldn't let me put her down, she graduated to sitting next to me, to crawling around in the area I'm in. She has also tolerated a high chair and stroller for brief periods. She is babbling all the time and we believe we heard both mama and dada come out of her mouth today. She loves her sister and wants to imitate everything she does. We are so happy with her progress and her pleasant happy demeanor. She is a great addition to our family.

She reminds me so much of her big sister in many ways, and yet is her own unique self. If you cover her mouth she looks so much like Clio, but then she has those pouting Angelia Jolie type lips. And she has the cutest, charming giggle. Very different from Clio's belly laugh.

Clio is still having a rough time. She has been eating better here in Guangzhou, but is now refusing naps which makes for very tempermental evenings and afternoons. She desperately needs to be back home and on a schedule and back with her friends. It is hard for her to not be the center of attention all the time anymore and she really misses interacting with kids her age. She's been a trooper, but her patience is gone and the novelty has worn thin. She's learned that she can exploit the fact that we are in a hotel room and many public places, so our discipline has gone down the tubes. Today she was throwing a huge fit in front of our hotel and I couldn't get her to calm down at all. A police man came over and waved his finger at her and that scared her a bit and she settled down. I was grateful to him actually. Everything was different here, the schedule, the rules, the bathrooms (she is terrified of the Chinese style ones), the food, the kids...so who can really blame her for being on edge. We just have to survive the 24 hours of travel and I think we'll be able to get back to normal.

If we were to come again, I don't know if I would bring Clio or not. We are traveling with several families who left kids behind and it's been really tough on them in a way we haven't experienced. Despite the challenges for us, I think overall it's been good for her to be here. I think the bottom line is that it's a hard trip anyway you do it.

Like when we returned home with Clio, I think it will take a while to settle into a new routine with Tiany in the mix. For instance, we had getting ready with the three of us down to a science and were pretty quick. Now we can't seem to do it in under 2 hours. It's more than doubled, because we can't trade off the way we did before and we end up each watching the kids while the other gets ready and then each getting a kid ready. Not very efficient, but we haven't learned how to have one of us get two ready at once. And with Tiany refusing to be put down most of the time, it's tough. So my hat is off to all you moms reading this with 2 or more...I've got some learning to do!

I'm not sure what else to add. There's been so much this trip and I've only captured a small part of it here. Dane is off getting a hair cut and massage. I had a foot massage last night which was GREAT! And about $10 for 90 minutes! We love China and feel so fortunate to be able to bring these little girls into our lives. But the trip also makes me realize how blessed we are to live in the US and how very much we have to learn about the Chinese culture. I find myself wondering what our girls will make of all this when they are grown and how they will feel about their birth country and their new home.

I'm going to call it a night. Thanks to all for the support, prayers and wishes during our journey. We can't wait to see you back at home and introduce our beautiful little girl to you!

A few last LYG photos

2007-11-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

The beach...

And park...

Our travel mate Rebecca and her son David with Dane and Tian. At the SWI we learned that these two kiddos had cribs next to each other. David's family lives in Castle Rock so we thought it was pretty cool that they were "neighbors" in the SWI and will be neighbors back home!

Tian's bed. I forgot to add in the post about our rough day getting to LYG, that when we arrive we discovered that our hotel only had one crib. The first room they wanted us to go in had one bed about the size of double and they expected all 4 of us to sleep in it! There was no room for a rollaway and even a crib would have been tight (had they had one). We did manage to get moved to a bigger room with two single beds and more room and got a rollaway for Clio. We let our travel mates take it as their son was more likely to climb than Tian and made her this little bed by pushing two chairs together, stuffing pillows into the arm holes and covering with a comforter.

Around LYG Nov. 11

2007-11-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

Again, I've got this blog and narative totally out of order. I hope you guys are able to make some sense of it. I can't view it due to the "Great Firewall of China" but can tell from the editing screen that it is hopelessly out of order.

Here are some more photos of our hotel and the construction around LYG. This area around the harbor is set to be a real resort community and they are building tons of villas and other vacation homes. The beach area is really lovely with a nice park, trails, and convention center.

Guangzhou at last... (Nov. 13)

2007-11-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

We slept very well in the lap of luxury last night. Even Tian slept though the whole night until after 7 a.m. It was glorious. I woke up with a whole new attitude. Happy to be back in familiar territory as we spent 2 weeks here when we adopted Clio.

We went down to breakfast and ran into several of our friends from Hong Kong as well as some of my internet buddies. The buffet was all labeled in English! I was remembering so much from our first trip and getting excited about some of the restaurants and shopping in store. It really felt something like a family reunion!

Today we had Tian's medical appointment and did some additional paperwork. We have a nice relaxed schedule for the next few days. And here on Shamain island you can walk to everything you need. NO MORE VANS! Other than my total frustration over internet problems this afternoon, it's been a great day.

We had dinner at Lucy's, a sort of American restaurant. I had heard it had gone downhill, but I still swear by it. Really, how can you mess up a grilled cheese anyway? Just don't eat the mexican and the rest is all good. Clio even ate an entire casa dia, a first for her even at home. And as if grilled cheese wasn't good enough...they had sake on the menu. (I'm sure this blog is making me sound like a lush. I really don't drink that much at home.)

It amazes me that while the Chinese invented sake, we couldn't seem to find it on any menus and is considered very much a Japanese thing. Sake is my drink of choice these days...and it really isn't harsh like so many think or have experienced from a bad bottle. It's more like white while really, especially the good stuff. But in any case, my good friends at Lucy's had it on the menu and I ordered it and it was so good that I asked if I could purchase a bottle to take with me. In the states, it comes in something about the size of a wine bottle. They were happy to oblige...and it is a HUGE bottle. I mean HUGE. I will have to have a party in our luxury suite to get rid of it all. We will post of photo later, but I'm sure the staff are still talking about the crazy American lady...

So I'm going to bed happy this evening...my internet is working now, I've had a wonderful meal of grilled cheese and sake and the kids are both asleep!

A fairly tale ending... (Nov. 12 still...)

2007-11-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

So after our AWFUL day of travel, we check into our hotel, the Victory. Dane checks in while I sit on the couch with the kids. He comes back and says, "They gave us the best room in the place." I groan and say, "I won't believe it until we see it." In my cynical, dealing with kids screaming for hours mood, I'm thinking it must be Chinese hyperbole and we are really getting a dump.

Well, after a frustrating few minutes while the bell boy couldn't find the room...(???)...we open it up...and according to Clio, it's a princess palace. I guess we really were upgraded. We'd asked for a suite, but this one came complete with crystal chandieliers, a marble bar area, an automatic water boiling machine, two bathrooms, a jetted tub, a bidet and yes, a personal sauna. (I don't have a photo of the sauna as we didn't see it at first next to the shower. I'll try to put one up later so you'll believe me.) I just laughed and laughed because it seemed so nuts to be in this crazyily overdone luxury suite with two tired kids after the day we had had.

Tian's first flight...

2007-11-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

Here she is prior to the really good screaming!

Leaving Jiangsu

2007-11-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

Our time in Jiangsu ended with a killer day of travel. After the visit to the SWI, we headed straight back to the Nanjing airport...about 5 more hours on the van. Then waited a few hours and flew 2 hours to Guangzhou. We got in after 10 p.m. (I was wrong before when I said our flight arrived at 11 p.m., it was actually 9 p.m., but late enough.)

The kiddos (and the parents too) were sick of the van. I'll do a post specifically about Tiany soon as there is so much to tell you, but she has started crawling everywhere and once started, certainly didn't want to be stuck in van all day where she couldn't flex her little muscles. She was crabby. Clio refused to nap and was really crabby. And mom was emotional and really really crabby.

At the airport we had our first real taste of trying to cart two kids plus luggage around. Not real fun. We said a sad goodbye to our guide Savor who had been with us for the whole week and we'd grown pretty close to. We frantically dumped out all our liquids prior to security, spilling a bottle of formula all over the airport floor, only to find out that China doesn't have the liquid restriction on in-country flights. Then Clio had a major meltdown in the middle of the security line and kneeled on the floor and refused to move. She refused to get in the stroller, so we had an empty stroller, 2 big carry ons and two screaming kids to contend with. Fun. Thank goodness Chinese security is pretty lax and we at least didn't have to remove shoes or laptops. I'm not sure we would have made it through and am still not quite sure how we did get through. It wasn't pretty to say the least.

Tian's first flight was not great. The flight attendants were overly helpful on the way into the plane and helped us with our luggage. Which was nice. Except that they put it all in overhead bins and we had no clue where it was. Including our bag with Clio's snacks and Tian's bottles. So the already cranky kids got even crankier and louder. Tian screamed most of the 2 hour flight and we were the most hated people on board. Dane tried to find the bag with their stuff and couldn't. The flight attendants kept passing him and making him move out of the aisle and no one was helping even though we obviously had a major kid issue happening. Our nice travel mates passed us some of their snacks and we tried to keep the kids happy with crackers. We got some food trays and I had Tian sucking on oranges...she clearly wanted her bottle. She calmed a bit, but then stated screaming again even louder. It was clear to the entire plane she wanted her bottle and wanted it NOW. I finally lost it and told Dane he had to find the bag NOW or I was coming over the seat and into the aisle myself. One of the flight attendants happened by and casually and so sweetly said, 'You bag is in that bin, I put some others on top of it. Good think I wasn't in the aisle. Like she couldn't have told us the at the first time we looked?

So we got a bottle and Clio finally fell asleep and things were OK. With the help of our travel mates, we drug two sleeping kids and the bags off the plane. I was really happy to finally be in Guangzhou! We weren't delighted to see another van to take us to the hotel, but there was no other way.

More van photos...

Saying goodbye to our guide and friend Savor.

A last LYG comment

2007-11-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

One thing I forgot to say in my other post...in the confusion about our visit, I was originally told I could not take any photos of the SWI. Then only outside photos. That is why I don't have as many as I had hoped. When we finally got them to say it was OK to see certain kids I already had photos of, they first found Lu Wen and I asked again if I could take a photo for her mama back home. They somewhat reluctantly agreed. I took the first one while she posed. Then I turned off my flash and took more without really asking. I couldn't really hide the fact I was doing it, but didn't really ask either and tried not to be too intrusive about it. I didn't want to overdo it and upset them. I couldn't get my video camera out as I felt that would really be pushing it. One of our travel mates did take some video instead of photos and I hope to get a copy of his video when we return home.

Overall it was a pretty bittersweet day. I'm glad we visited but to be honest it was a very hard and long trip, particularly with a 3 yr. old also in tow. And while I was happy to finally visit, I was stressed about the confusion regarding our visit which made it more difficult to get info. for you guys, disappointed not to be able to see all the kiddos with waiting families and so profoundly sad about my interaction with Tian's nanny and of course the children who aren't matched yet. I hope as many as possible are home with their families soon.

A few more misc. photos of LYG

2007-11-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

Tian and her Nanny

2007-11-13T07:39:00.000-07:00

The baby room and play room

2007-11-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Xing Guang and his Nanny

2007-11-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Yi Zhi, just back from surgery

2007-11-13T07:29:00.000-07:00

Lu Wen and the Music Class

2007-11-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

Lu Wen and the Music Class

2007-11-13T07:24:00.001-07:00

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Technical Difficulties

2007-11-13T02:50:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry. After the first 3 photos, I can't seem to post or upload any photos. I've tried several different ways including emails directly to the parents with no luck. I will have to go to the business center and try again. Please try to bear with me...

Exterior LYG photos

2007-11-13T02:07:00.000-07:00

Bear with me guys. I am having an awful time posting photos. It is taking forever to upload them.

LianYunGang SWI Nov. 12

2007-11-13T01:28:00.001-07:00

LGY SWI visit

I know so many of you have been waiting for this post and I’m sorry it has taken me so long to get it put up. It was such a long long day of travel yesterday and we had to hit the ground running In GZ today with medical apt. and other paperwork.

But I’ll leave that info. for the next post and get on to the SWI info.
First, the kid’s info.; then I’ll tell you the whole story of our visit.

THE KIDS
Unfortunately, I only have photos of three of the children. The other three (Ai Mei, Shan Shu and An Xin) were still at the hospital following surgery. I tried my best to ask how they were doing and was told they were all doing well. I am so disappointed I am not able to bring you more info. on them. I do have a photo of the hospital building. We were there the previous day to visit where our travelmates son had his surgery. I wish I had known then that your kids were there. I’m not sure if they would have let me see them, but I could have asked. It did seem like a fairly good facility and clean. Certainly not one would expect in a western hospital, but our travel mate is a nurse and she had been to the Nanjing hospital with her son and she said this one looked much better and cleaner. The staff were nice.

We did meet one little guy who had just returned from surgery, Lian Yi Zhi. He looked great as you’ll see from the photos. I believe his parents just joined the LYG list a few days ago. I didn’t see his “before” photos but the surgery looked very good to me with my far from expert eyes. A very cute boy. He He has a small piece of metal wire of some sort across his lip, I think to keep the surgery in place and so he can’t tear at it. He seemed to be in very good spirits and healthy from what I saw. His nanny was very lovingly caring for him. They had him on some sort of IV, perhaps for fluids or pain medicine.

I also have photos of Robin’s little guy, Xing Guang and of sweet little Lu Wen for Brenda. Both kids looked really good and healthy.

Brenda, I hope you see this before you leave. Lu Wen was in music class with the other children and was a bit shy and so sweet. Although she is deaf she was participating in the class right along with the others and shaking a little stick instrument with bells. She came forward for us to take our photos and waved at my little girl. She seemed to be healthy and in good spirits. The staff confirmed she has the photos of her family and knows you guys are coming soon. She is so very sweet. I can’t wait to see a photo of her in your arms, Brenda. Her eyes lighted up when we came in and she was called out, almost as if for a moment she thought you were there. I asked our guide to tell her that I would send her photo and you were coming soon. She seemed to understand this.

Robin, Xing Guang is so very charming and sweet. They told me he is talking baby talk with only a few words. He can take steps with assistance. They said his balance is not great due to his feet so he needs to hold onto someone. He was being held when I saw him so I didn’t witness this myself. They said they have just begun potty training him. He was in the play room with the other kids when we came and his nanny brought him up to us. He seemed pretty good natured and relaxed, but a bit confused about us and all the attention. Although he wasn’t smiling when I took the photos, my impression is that he seemed to be kinda laid back and happy. His nanny seemed to care for him very much.

Kelley, I’m sorry but I wasn’t able to figure out who your daughter’s nanny was. I had given the director her sheet with photos they day we met Tian and wasn’t able to make it clear who I meant without the photos.

OUR VISIT
We got to the LianYunGang SWI about 10 a.m. It is near the train station, kind of tucked away behind some ramshackle building, but the building itself is very nice and clean. We first saw the distinctive heart sculpture when we pulled up and I recognized it right away.

Unfortunately, there had been some sort of miscommunication even though we arranged the trip more that a week before we left. They were not expecting us and it seemed uncertain they were going to let us visit at first. I couldn’t understand the exchange between our guide and the staff (a nice woman in an old fashioned white nurses uniform) but it did seem rather tense and I was worried. We waiting a while for some other staff to appear and learned that the director was in Nanjing bringing a child to his/her family and that the other “senior” staff were visiting the kids in the hospital. For some reason they thought we were driving from Nanjing that morning rather than already in Lianyungang, so we were much earlier than expected. In the end they decided to show us around and welcomed us in, thank goodness after we had come so far.

The visit was pretty chaotic though and it was difficult to get much info. about the kids who are waiting for families. Even thought I had showed the director the photos when we received Tian and told her we were coming Monday, they rest of the staff seemed somewhat unsure about all this. This is why I wasn’t able to get more info. about the kids in the hospital. I tried to ask about each individually and how they were doing, but just kept being told “all were OK.”

Overall I was very impressed with the SWI. Compared to my first daughter’s SWI it is much smaller and has much more staff. They are making a new room for the toddlers to play in, but I think the current one is quite nice, with foam squares on the floor, bright colors and lots of toys. We were told the kids have a program to help their development and are worked with several hours each day. I think this is part of the Half the Sky program but we were specifically told that.

We had a very emotional experience in Tian’s room. It is a typical SWI baby room with several rows of cribs, maybe 30-40. It has nice windows and colorful decorations on the ceiling. Not too different from a daycare in the states really, but with more kids.

Tian’s nanny is Li Xin Lan, a very nice woman who obviously cares for our girl so very much. We were reluctant to do so, but she really wanted to hold Tian and Tian reached out to her so we did let her. Tian clearly knew exactly who she was, however after a little while, Tian wanted to come to me and started crying and reaching out to me. I took her back and her nanny started crying. I had our guide thank her for all the love she has given Tian and tell her we would always remember her. She told our guide that she was upset because she had cared for Tian for over a year and although I only had her for a few days, she wanted to go to me. I wasn’t sure how to respond to this.

The nanny was so very upset and didn’t want to say goodbye to Tian. I was also in tears before we left. I feel like I owe this woman a lot for the care she gave our girl and that I couldn't express that adequately. But she was also so focused on Tian and didn't seem to want to interact with me very much. Like I was an intruder on their intimate relationship. It was hard to take her away from someone who clearly cared for her so much. I promised to write and send her photos of Tian so she can see how loved she is and what a good home she will have.

We then went to the office and talked to the staff a little bit more. I asked about the air conditioning project and was met with blank stares. They said they did not get it and had not heard about it at all. I’m a bit concerned about it and hope my friends on the LYG list will look into it.

OK, I’m running out of time here and want to get this posted. There is far more to say than I have time to blog. I’ll try to do more once the kids are in bed. We are in Guangzhou and loving it….more later.

I'll post the photos next in a series of posts.

The Van

2007-11-11T00:44:00.000-07:00

Since we spent so much time in this vehicle, it seemed appropriate to have a photo of it here!

Lianyungang Harbor and City Nov. 10

2007-11-11T00:36:00.000-07:00

We spend a LONG 4.5 hours in the van today going to LYG. The kids were really good overall, but a bit fussy towards the end. We saw lots of the very rural Chinese country side. In many places they were burning the fields. These are rural homes, with only well water and few of the comforts we take for granted.

We arrived in LYG after it was dark, so couldn't see much. Our hotel is lovely and right near the ocean in the are they are making into a resort. We had a difficult time at dinner....we were so very hungry and tired after the ride. Our waitress didn't speak any english, not even "french fry." We tried to order by pointing but suspect the Chinese and english on the menu did not line up exactly. Dane had spaghetti which was passable but very sweet. My sandwich arrive with all RAW ingredients. I thought I was ordering a grilled ham and cheese, but got something like a club, with spam and egg and a bunch of raw veggies which looked good, but unfortunately we can't eat (due to concern about the water they are washed with.) Salad got me good and sick the last trip and I'm not going to chance it this time. So we asked them to cook it. They tried, but the result wasn't great. I ate the bread and tried to order some tomato soup. They first brought some other strange soup, and then tomato soup which was like a sweet broth with hunks of tomato in it. Not good. I ate some of our travel mates fried rice and decided to try one more time.

They had this huge drink menu and big bar. They had a display of martini's that look like you'd find in any nighttime hot spot...and I was a bit frazzled by this point. The kids were both fussy as crazy. Clio had to be taken up the room by dad as she was not behaving. So, I point on the menu to Whiskey Sour thinking "how can they screw that up?" Well, I got a glass of straight Jim Beam. It's not my usual choice, especially on an almost empty stomach, but let's just say I was defiantly more relaxed the rest of the evening.

So this morning we went out and did some touring of the city our Tiany was born in. The harbor is very beautiful and they are improving it and building villas and vacation homes all around. We joked with our travel mates about buying a time share here. You'll see the funny mix that is China in the photos to some extent...poor, dilapidated fishing boats, moored below vacation mansions. This area is a small island just off the coast called Lian island. I picked up some rocks here, for Tian to have a small piece of her homeland.

After the harbor we drove through the city of Lianyungang. The construction theme continued with high rises being built all over and cranes all across the horizon. It is a fairly pretty city with flowers in the roundabouts and many areas of tress and gardens.

We also visited Tian's finding spot. We are keeping the details of this private for her, but I have to say I felt such sadness visiting there, I almost burst into tears. I just hugged her and promised never, never to leave her. I can't imagine the sadness and pain her family must have felt to put her down, walk away and never know if she is safe and loved. If I could get a message to them somehow, I would want them to know how precious she is to us.

Anyway, here are some photos from our journey today.

LYG Harbor and City 3

2007-11-11T00:35:00.000-07:00

LYG Harbor and City 2

2007-11-11T00:30:00.000-07:00

Nanjing Bridge Nov. 9

2007-11-11T00:19:00.000-07:00

On our way out of Nanjing, we visited a famous bridge. Orginally the Russians were helping to design and build this bridge spanning the Yangtze River, but there was a falling out and the Russians pulled out with the plans and refused to continue to help. Apparently they said the Chinese would never build it without them. So the Chinese spent many many years and taxed the local people 30% to make it happen. The Nanjing people are very proud of this bridge. It's incredibly long, the photos don't do it justice.

Last Day in Nanjing (Nov. 8)

2007-11-11T00:13:00.000-07:00

Today Dane was brave enough to stay in the hotel with the two girls while I ventured out on the most American of trips...to Walmart. I wish I had brought the camera because it is SO much the same and yet so different at the same time. When leaving Walmart, we saw a Papa John's pizza and couldn't resist. Brought it home on the taxi to my waiting girls and daddy and it was DELICIOUS! It tasted just like home. I should have taken a photo but we ate it too fast!

While staying in the room, Dane entertained Clio by teaching her to use the digital camera. Here is first attempt.

But she showed remarkable improvement...

Like Daddy, like daughter...

My happy family!

Garden Tour (Nov. 8)

2007-11-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

I went back and tried to put dates on all my posts since I can't seem to get them in order. Both our camera and computer have the wrong dates and times, so it's been hard to organize and I seem to keep posting in reverse order. Someday I'll go back and fix it all.

We walked to a nice garden from our hotel. While it is nice to get out of the room, these excursions have been somewhat trying for me as I have to carry Tian at all times. I wouldn't mind, but I sure should have been lifting weights to prepare for this.

This tree is 600 years old. It looked half dead on the bottom but had lots of leaves up top. They said it flowers with hundreds of purple flowers each spring.

Playing around (Nov. 8)

2007-11-08T23:54:00.000-07:00

She went back for more! We had another encounter with a little emperor at the park. He kept shoving Clio and tackling her. Then he tried to take my camera. He was a little guy about 5 years old. I don't know what these spoiled little guys are going to do when they grow up. Maybe they learn to get along with others once they hit school age.

Another cultural irony is that while these ladies keep yelling at us about Clio and Tian's arm or leg skin showing, their kids are running around in split pants. Interesting site to watch them jumping and tumbling about this bounce house with it all hanging out.

Reading to both girls. Tiany seems to really like books...I think she is going to fit into our family just fine!

Sun Yat-Sen Mausoleum (Nov. 9)

2007-11-08T23:53:00.000-07:00

Today we visited the Sun Yat-Sen Mausoleum. It was a bit cooler today but felt nice. It was very hazy and overcast.

Here is our little travel group of two families.

Yes, we walked all 300 plus stairs with two kids in tow.

Dad is making progress with Tian. We've been having him do most of the feeding which has made her think he may not be so bad after all. She allowed him to carry her and would even smile and whine a little when seeing me rather than screaming for me. This is a great relief to me as my arms and back have been aching as she insisted on being carried by me at all times over the past few days. Even in the room she wouldn't let me set her down (except to sleep.) Overall she seems less desperate and more relaxed. We are seeing more smiles and she has the cutest little giggle.

Rambling photos and thoughts... (Nov. 7)

2007-11-07T08:46:00.000-07:00

Hello all...we are doing well, but time is short to write and post everything I want to share. With two kids, it's proving pretty challenging to get much time on the computer.

I've posted a bunch of photos to try and "catch up" and some thoughts which may be repetitive. I'm sorry it may not all be in chronological order. Since I can only do 4 photos per post unless I do a lot of cut and paste, it's hard to keep it all organized, but I think you'll get the idea. Not up to my usual standards but I figure I'll fix it all when I make it into a book for Tian.

I'll try to get Dane to post so you can get more of his impressions and some details about this stuff. I'm spending most of my effort on getting the photos online! I think it was actually easier last time just to do the Yahoo group than this blog.

We appreciate everyone's comments! It's fun to hear from you! I hope we'll continue to have good Internet access as we travel to LYG in a couple of days.

With Tian's Director and Nanny (Nov. 6)

2007-11-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

Blogging with a baby! (Nov. 7)

2007-11-07T07:54:00.001-07:00

The Night Market (Nov. 6)

2007-11-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

Near our hotel is a Confucius temple and night market. It's a great location. The market is full of colorful shops that sell everything from fuzzy bunnies to street foods to Gucci handbags to MacDonald's green pea pie. It's been really fun to walk around and get out of the room. The restaurants are in fierce competition and advertise as if they were in Vegas.

Last night we went to the market to buy Tian's some more clothes. She is longer than I thought and hence skin shows between her socks and pants leg. The other adoptive parents reading this will know this is a critical sin here in China and little old ladies will come squawk at you that you aren't keeping the baby warm enough. Easier to buy her some new clothes and not deal with it!

Now that we have two Chinese daughters we are attracting even more attention than before. When I stopped to buy something, we were surrounded by about 20 people. Dane managed to say that we didn't' speak Chinese and produce the little cards I made that told why we are here and where our daughters are from. That brought on lots of thumbs up signs....except for the little old lady who scolded Dane about Tian's short pants....he was able to gesture that I was being a good mom and buying her something new. This seemed to be acceptable and we were allowed to continue on our way.

This is a "lucky" tree.

Great Parents... (Nov. 6)

2007-11-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

You know, we were so proud of the fact that Clio didn't know what MacDonald's was...well we can now kiss that goodbye. She knows it now and is begging for it every meal and Tian's has had her first Burger King ice cream cone! Food has been challenging here and we've let convenience and comfort win out several times.

Tonight we did have excellent Chinese food. The menu included things like fried bullfrog and some duck lung soup...but we stuck with things like beef and eggplant and had a very good meal. And fed 4 adults and 3 kids for under $20.

Just so you don't think we are total miscreants, we did manage to get both girls a bath. Here they are looking bright and shiny in their matching bunny jammies!

A few more museum/wall shots... (Nov. 6)

2007-11-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more miscellaneous photos...

The city walls...

These kids were on a field trip. They had a heyday talking to us foreigners and practicing their English. They seemed surprised and delighted when we actually answered them. It was really cute and some of them had perfect English with no accent at all!

On another language note, I've been asked several times if Clio is fluent in English! I laugh and say, yes, but her Chinese is not so good! I think some people think we just adopted her. Several people have walked up to her and expected her to know Chinese and translate for us. They jabber away and wonder why she is not responding. She's been very good natured about all the attention.

Tian is tired of mommy taking photos!

Walled City (Nov. 6)

2007-11-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today we visited the ancient wall that once surrounded Nanjing. It was a beautiful view and Clio got to run around a lot. We also visited a very nice museum, but this wasn't such a hit with a three year old.

Clio so desperately wanted to play with this little kid, but he wouldn't share his ball at all and wasn't very nice. A little emperor indeed.

Almost a smile! (Nov. 7)

2007-11-07T07:50:00.001-07:00

I want to PLAY! (Nov. 7)

2007-11-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

Clio has been doing so very well this trip...but after multiple boring appointments, shopping trips where she had to behave, grown-up museums and little emperors, enough was enough. A girl has to play doesn't she?

Clio announced she was going to go to this jumpy thing every, every day. She also has been missing her school, teachers and the other kids and talking about them a lot.

I am not sure why a tiger has a steering wheel, but it's fun!

Uh oh...now the Panda has one too...genetic mutation?

Clio finally holds Tian! (Nov. 7)

2007-11-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Sleepy Family... (Nov. 5)

2007-11-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

Forgive the multiple posts, but it is the most efficient way for me to do this, by posting four at a time. It takes too long to cut and paste it all into one, so this will have to do for now.

Isn't she sweet?

Dad and Tian both fall asleep in the middle of a story....Yes, she really feel asleep like that with her little hands in the air. (p.s. So did Dad!)

Family Life (Nov. 5)

2007-11-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

Adoption Day!

2007-11-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

Things are going well. Tian's adoption was completed today so we are officially her parents!

We saw the staff from LYG again today and I have to say that I liked them very much. They seem so warm and kind and really love these kids. I gave them the print outs of the kids who are already home and they were very excited and talked about each one. Our guide was with the other family so I don't know exactly what they were saying, but they seemed to recognize the kids and thanked me a lot.

We are traveling with another family with a little boy, 15 mos., with cleft lip and palate. He is so cute and seems like such a trooper. He has been pretty sick and having trouble eating. The staff spent a lot of time with the mom answering her questions and showing how to better feed him.

Tian appears to be very smart, like her big sister. She has decided that she prefers her mom and doesn't allow me to put her down at all or she just wails. Dad can hold her if I am not in site. It's a bit hard on both of us, but not unexpected. Interestingly though, she won't go to sleep easily for me. Dad is defiantly the one to put her to bed.

She seems to be very healthy too and surprisingly a great eater. She is eating all kinds of things like cereal, gerber puffs, congee and baby food. I thought it was unlikely she had been given solids, but she clearly has and eats them with great gusto.

Her motor skills are challenging. I don't have much knowledge of this, but I think she is lacking in experiences perhaps rather than capability. She is VERY strong and can grasp onto me and pull like no ones business. She can sit on her own. But she seems sort of floppy and awkward when maneuvering. It's a bit hard to explain. She can pull up and stand. She adamantly refuses to go on the floor so I can't really tell if she can crawl. And I suspect she has not had much "tummy time."

While she can grasp things like Cheerios in her fingers, she prefers to throw them on the floor than maneuver into her mouth. Or she will move her whole head forward to take the Cheerio in her mouth rather than move it there with her hand. She will grab spoons and toys when it suits her and can hold her bottle in both hands.

On one hand her thumb is actually "webbed" to her first finger which I didn't really realize from the photos. This limits her mobility with that thumb. Her fused finger is very usable and bends well at all joints. It actually feels like there are two separate sets of bones in there, which might be fused only at the top, but I can't say for sure.

If you take off her socks she will rub her feet together and kind of grasp them together in the two clefts. In some ways they seem more useful than a typical foot and very flexible, almost like a pincher, which I suspect she may be able to grasp things with some day. She seems to stand up on them just fine, although balance is not there yet.

We are learning new things about her every minute. She is such a sweet and good baby! She is sleeping and eating well which is a major things considering the stress she must be feeling.

Clio is doing very well considering. We've had some meltdowns and crabbiness, but to be fair, it's pretty boring for a 3 yr. old going to all these appointments and having the be quiet and sit still and to have your eating and sleeping schedule all messed up. We are hoping to find a playground for her this afternoon or tomorrow. We are here in Nanjing three more days while we wait for Tian's visa. We travel up to LYG on Sat. and will try to see as many of the kids who are waiting as possible. I'll also try to ask about those who just had surgery, especially if we can't see them.

We did have some unfortunate excitetment today...a minor fender bender with our van being rear-ended. It was scary, but everyone is OK.

I'll try to do some photos later. We haven't been very good at getting photos. Last time one had the baby and the other the camera. Plus we had 15 families with last time and one guy who's a professional photographer. Not so easy this trip!

Welcome to the Family Tian!

2007-11-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

And now the photos we've all been waiting for! We are a family of four and are delighted and so happy! Tian is such a beautiful sweet girl. It's hard to describe our feelings. We are feeling like really good parents right now as BOTH are girls are down for their naps!

Tian didn't cry much and is SO inquisitive. She seems to be keenly observing everything around her with a very intense look. Clio seems very excited to be a big sister.

I'll write more later, but I know you all want to see the photos and we have limited time as we must meet our guide again in just a few minutes. It took a long time to get the internet running and I seem to only be able to publish 4 photos at a time.

Enjoy!

Love Dane, Jeannene, Clio and Tian!

Waiting for the big moment!

2007-11-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

Our first glance

2007-11-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Almost in our arms

2007-11-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

Finally Holding Her!!!!

2007-11-05T12:20:00.000-07:00

Clio's a Big Sister Now!

2007-11-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hong Kong Final Photos

2007-11-04T22:37:00.000-07:00

Here are a few photos. I'm having issues getting blogger to work right and can't combine these with the previous text.

Here's Clio with new friend Miranda at the Hong Kong light show, also waiting for her baby sister.

Bye Bye Hong Kong!

Nanjing

2007-11-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in posting. We've had internet problems in our room. But after a visit from the Manager of the hotel himself with laptop in tow (gotta love Customer Service in China...they take it pretty seriously!) all is well internet-wise. (or at least workable.)

Last night we went and saw the Hong Kong light show with the families from our agency. The light show was pretty underwhelming to say the least, but it was fun to have one last gathering with our new found friends. Then we went to our rooms to pack up for our journeys of the next day.

We had a rough night. While Clio has seemingly adjusted well to the new sleep patterns, meals are a different story. She never wants to eat a meal time and has been uncharacteristically picky. After each meal, she constantly says she is hungry. This morning at about 4:30 a.m., she woke up and was demanding food. I gave her a banana swiped from the breakfast buffet and a pack of potato sticks which was all we had in the room. She continued to be cranky and had a major meltdown as we were preparing to leave. Typical three year old behavior. I can’t complain as she’s been very very good up to this point and there must be a lot going through her head.

We flew to Nanjing and were met by our guide Savor. She is very nice and gave us some history of the city as we drove in. She’ll be with us for several days both in Nanjing and up in Lianyungang. Nanjing has an ancient wall around it that sounds interesting to see. There is also a big Confucius temple and outdoor market. It really is a cool place. And despite our previous travels, really the first time I’ve felt that things were extremely foreign. We were pretty sheltered in our first trip in areas with lots of English influence and international travelers.

We met back up with our travel mates to go over the itinerary for tomorrow. We meet our kids at 10 a.m.! We went to dinner together at a really good (and cheap!) noodle shop and then walked around the market. It was amazing at the crowds of people in this place in the evening. Lots of shops with jeans, shoes, shirts and fashion shops, mixed in with food vendors and all kinds of stuff including KFC, McDonalds and Hagen Daas. (Our ice cream at Hagen Daas, one scoop each, cost twice what our dinner for all three plus appetizers cost!)

Back at the room, I was dismayed to discover that internet service isn’t working and that there is no one here who speaks English to help us with it. I am hoping very much that we’ll be able to get it resolved tomorrow and you will be able to read some of this in a timely manner. Of course, the most important photos are tomorrow. The day we finally meet our Tian!

Touring Hong Kong

2007-11-03T00:36:00.000-06:00

Hello all, Dane here. It is my turn to blog for a while, as Jeannene and Clio are taking naps following a busy morning touring Hong Kong. Last trip, Jeannene and I missed the tour in Hong Kong because she was ill, so it was good to get a chance to see some of the sights. We went with several other CCAI families who had just arrived in Hong Kong, and it was great for Jeannene to put faces to the names she has been corresponding with for so long. Hong Kong is a beautiful island, and we had great weather today. We drove most of the way around the island. The contrast is amazing. One side of the island is the city of Hong Kong, extremely urban, with high-rise buildings everywhere. The other side is lush and tropical, with public beaches for swimming and beautiful views of lush green mountainsides, very reminiscent of Hawaii.

We got to take a tour of Aberdeen harbor on a sampan, including views of a floating restaurant that is a Hong Kong landmark, and some of the traditional family fishing boats. There are fewer and fewer of these families who live on their boats in the harbor, and some of whom never set foot on land.

The last stop on the tour was at the top of Victoria Peak, one of the highest points on Hong Kong island. The view of Hong Kong and across Victoria Harbor to Kowloon (where our hotel is) was magnificent. In the background, you can barely make out the mountains that separate the Hong Kong district from the rest of mainland China. Tomorrow we'll be flying across those mountains and up to Nanjing and then, in one more day, meeting Tian.

It is hard to balance our love for travel and our desire to experience all we can with our impatience to get Tian. I'd love to come to Hong Kong for an extended trip and spend a lot more time experiencing this great, cosmopolitan city of 7 million people, but right now I want to head out as soon as we can. We're coming Tian.

Visiting Old Friends

2007-11-02T23:35:00.000-06:00

Hello all, Dane here. I had an opportunity last night to visit with David Shum, an old family friend who lives in Hong Kong. David stayed with my family in Denver back in 1980 as part of an exchange program. Jeannene and I spent some time touring the island and visiting with his family last time we were here. We were going to try and and get together tomorrow after our tour, but David has to work and we would not have time to get out to the outlying island where he is working. When we were here last, David was the executive director of a large youth outreach program, but he has since "retired" and now is on the board of that program, but not managing his day-to-day affairs. His new project is an "adventure based" counselling and training program for both youth and business interests that sounds much like "outward bound" and focuses on team-building and character training through outdoor activities.

Because we could not get together tomorrow, David, his wife Rosetta, and daughters Claire and Roberta, came to our hotel. Jeannene and Clio were already sleeping by the time they got here (as our biological clocks have not quite adjusted yet) so I went downstairs with them for a cup of coffee. It was great to catch up, but a shame that we wil not get to spend more time with them this trip.

Happy Birthday Dear Tian!

2007-11-02T17:16:00.000-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!

We hope our daughter Tian has the happiest of birthdays!!! So sad we weren't there with her, but we'll there soon and promise to celebrate like crazy!

Hong Kong Disneyland

2007-11-02T06:04:00.000-06:00

We wanted to do something special with Clio prior to bringing her little sister into the picture. Since she loves the princesses so much, Disney seemed like the perfect option. It's cool that her first Disney experience is in Hong Kong. (Although I have to admit that there is something strange about us traveling for 19 hours to end up at that most American of attractions.)

The park is very nice. Smaller than those in the US, I'm told. It worked out great for us. The weather was overcast and really pleasant, not so hot as last time we were here. Hardly any lines and easy to get around. And except for the food (think bad fast food, with added cultural challenges...), it was a great time. We got to see a lot of the princesses and characters.

Tea for two!

The beloved princesses....Clio told them her name was Princess Belle and they asked her where the beast was!

At Tarzan's treehouse...

We had front row "seats" for the parade. It was a big hit with Clio!

But in the end she surprisingly said the carousel was her favorite part. (I had a hard time getting a good photo, but she really did enjoy it!)

After a full day at Disney, we came back to the room and were planning to go for Japanese food, but Clio crashed hard and we couldn't get her back up. We had some pretty good room service though. I'm worried she will be up in the middle of the night and be starving, but we'll see how it goes.

It's been strange today that we've been stared at a lot. We didn't feel that at all when we were here as a couple last time. Several people have wanted photos with Clio or of Clio with their kids. Most of them seem really curious about our family. I've also heard some think kids who go to the US are very lucky and the luck may rub off on them. It's hard to tell for sure with the language barrier, but she is certainly getting a lot of attention.

Tomorrow we tour Hong Kong with some other families from CCAI. I'm really looking forward to it as we missed this tour last time and I'll have a chance to meet some of my online friends I've been chatting with during the wait.

Princess Lobby

2007-11-02T05:46:00.000-06:00

A few more photos of our princess in the lobby! (OK, I know it's not too exciting, but I don't have baby photos yet!)

The Park

2007-11-02T05:44:00.000-06:00

Our hotel is really nice and near the water (but I guess most of Hong Kong is.) We slept fairly well, but were awake early. We walked around a bit this morning to get our bearings because Disney didn't open until 10 a.m. We found a nice park with a playground which Clio really enjoyed.

We made it!

2007-11-01T21:37:00.000-06:00

We made it to Hong Kong safely. It's a loooooonnnng flight. Someone I'd forgotten how long. Clio did really great on the plane. I asked Dane to remember to get a photo on the plane, so he takes one of us sleeping. Not exactly what I had in mind, but probably more realistic.

We arrive in Hong Kong. Tired but safe.

Here we are in the hotel lobby. It's a really nice hotel. Clio thinks it is a princess castle because it's so fancy.

Our Schedule

2007-10-28T21:24:00.000-06:00

10/31 Leave U.S. for Hong Kong. Happy Halloween! 8:23 a.m. United #869

11/1 Arrive in Hong Kong at 5:45 p.m.

11/2 Tour Hong Kong Disney.

11/3 Hong Kong Tour. See Family friend David Shum.

11/4 Leave Hong Kong for Nanjing

11/5 Family Day! Welcome to the family Tian at 10 a.m.!

11/6 Go to the Registration Office for Adoption Registration and Notarization

11/7 Free time. Rest, shop, tour. Waiting for adoption paperwork to be processed.

11/8 Optional half day city tour. Receive child’s notary documents in the afternoon.

11/9 Optional half day city tour. Receive child’s passport in the afternoon.

11/10 In the afternoon travel by van to Lianyungang (Where Tian's was living.) It is approximately a four and a half hour ride.

11/11 Free time. Rest, Shop, Tour.

11/12 In the morning you will visit the Lianyungang Orphanage. Afternoon, return to Nanjing by van. Leave Nanjing for Guangzhou.

11/13 Child’s visa physical exam and visa photo are today.

11/14 Free time. Rest, Shop, Tour.

11/15 Today is the Consulate appointment.

11/16 Go to the U.S. Consulate to take the oath in the afternoon.

11/17 Leave Guangzhou for Hong Kong. WELCOME HOME Tian! Arrive in Denver via United 1168 5:36 p.m.

Latest Photos!

2007-10-24T20:24:00.000-06:00

Here are our newest photos of little Tian taken on Oct. 19! They said she had just awakened and was a little crabby (that's mommy's girl!)

I think she looks pretty sweet! Can't wait to hold her in our arms!

Our Timeline

2007-10-19T00:00:00.000-06:00

Here's our timeline so far...we'll update as new milestones occur.

11.02.06 A lovely young girl is born somewhere in China and somewhere in the USA the Bragg/Torbenson family begins paperwork for their second adoption.

11.03.06 The little girl arrives at the Lianyungang SWI and is named Lian Tian Xin (Heart of Heaven.)

11.27.06 We submit an Application and Medical Condition Checklist to our agency.

12.11.06 Application approved. We start on all the reams paperwork for our dossier.

3.26.07 We are done paperchasing! Our dossier arrives in China.

4.10.07 We are logged in with the CCAA (the agency in China that handles adoptions.) Now the wait begins in earnest.

5.24.07 We are surprised and thrilled to get a call with a possible match. (See blog entry "The Call" for the whole story!)

5.25.07 We spend a very LONG Memorial Day weekend researching and networking to learn more about Tian's medical needs. We are unable to reach any Doctor's who specialize in her condition. Despite this, we are staring at a beautiful little face and know we want her to be our daughter. We just need to know that we can provide the care she needs.

5.26.07 Jeannene does extensive research online and makes contact with several families whose children have similar hands and feet to Tian's. She get photos and video of these kids, not only walking but running, doing gymnastics and karate. It sounds like her feet will likely be totally functional. We've found other families to be a wonderful resource

5.29.07 We talk to Dr. Laurel Benson at Children's Hospital in Denver. She confirms what Jeannene has learned from online families. This little girl will need some medical care, but will be able to do whatever she wants to! We accept Tian's referral. We have a new daughter and Clio has a sister!

5.31.07 Our official match day! We submit our Letter of Intent to China. Clio is very excited to be a big sister! We get to tell everyone!

6.7.07 We get our Pre-Approval (PA) from China! Wow that was fast! Let's hope the rest of our paperwork goes as quickly! This will be the long part of the wait. It is usually about 1-3 months until the next step when our file will move out of the review room in China and into the Match room.

July 07 We wait....

Aug. 07 And wait....

Sept. 07 And wait...

9.7.07 Day 99 and still waiting. We get a brief update on Tian, but sadly no new photos.

9.8.07 Day 100 A very hard day. Around this time we learn that there has been a problem in China with many families' files. Ours is among them. They were delayed in translation and had to be redone. Then went back to the bottom of the pile, so to speak. We have been waiting longer than many families do and it is SO hard. We are told we will likely wait until mid-Oct. to hear anything.

10.1.07 Finally! We have our Letter of Acceptance...the paperwork is moving again. We get this wonderful news just before the CCAA closes for a week long holiday. Jeannene is in a much better mood! (But many of the poor families caught in the same delay are still waiting. We have bonded through the uncertainty and it is hard to be moving forward without them.)

10.18.07 Oh yes! Our Travel Approval is here. This one came extremely fast considering they were closed for a week. We are thrilled and start to make our travel plans. We will just barely miss her first birthday, but will be on our way.

10.31.07 - 11.17.07 IN CHINA!

11.2.07 Tian turns 1! Happy Birthday Sweetie!

11.5.07 Tian is in our arms!

And they lived happily ever after...

Tian's Bear

2007-07-24T22:08:00.000-06:00

Here is a photo of the bear we got for our Tiany. It has a little shirt with our family photo on it and says, "Wo men ai ni, Tian Xin." (For those whose Chinese is a bit rusty..."We love you Tian Xin!)

Our friend Marsha travels to get her son Qi from LianYunGang in August and is planning to go to the SWI if at all possible. She graciously volunteered to take this little bear to our girl! Clio slept with it one night to imbue it with some extra special love for her sister. I'll send it to Marsha in Texas and she'll hand deliver it to China.

We wanted to make the bear as small as possible so it would take up to much room in Marsha's luggage. Can you say "Seal a Meal!"

That was one flat bear! LOL!

A friend indeed!

2007-07-08T22:16:00.000-06:00

A friend indeed!
The connections I've made through adoption have been absolutely awesome! We made such good friends with people we met through Clio's adoption and I've "met" so many great people online. Our first trip we got to meet up with some of my online buddies in China! It was great!

I guess because parts of adoption are different and people who aren't doing it don't always understand, many adoptive parents seek each other out. There are tons of online groups of people from various agencies, people adopting at the same time, people with kids from the same orphanage and it goes on. I am currently a proud member of 64 such groups! Although I can only really keep up with about a dozen that I regularly check and respond too.

With the adoption of Tian, I joined several new ones including one for adoptive parents of kids with limb differences. There, I found a really wonderful, supportive community. Many of them gave me information and support when we were reviewing Tian's file. They sent me photos of their kids feet and videos of them running and doing karate! You can learn a lot from the Doctors, but you get the real story about what it is really like from the moms who have been there before.

I "met" my friend Wendy on that group. She has a beautiful little girl named Madeline who came home from China a little over a year ago. Madeline has very similar hands and feet to Tian and Wendy has been a wonderful resource and support. I've learned about Madeline's surgeries and what to expect for Tian.

Madeline goes to one of the top pediatric hand surgeons in the country, Dr. Scott Kozin in Philadelphia. Wendy volunteered to take Tian's photos to him at Madeline's surgery last week. Through this contact, Dr. Kozin agreed to consult with us and, if we are willing to travel to Philadelphia, to be Tian's doctor!

You might be wondering how that is possible or affordable...Dr. Kozin is a surgeon for Shiner's hospital. A wonderful organization who provides free care to children with orthopedic issues and burns. I didn't know anything about them until researching for Tian, but they are an awesome organization supported by the Masons. You can check them out here: http://www.shrinershq.org/

We are excited to get to talk to Dr. Kozin once we have Tian home!

The Wait and Waiting Children

2007-06-03T23:55:00.000-06:00

Adoptions in China are taking a very long time right now in most cases. We were so lucky to wait only six months after our documents got to China in 05 for our referral of Clio. (Of course, those who knew me at the time will laugh because it was all too long back then...I was very stressed and impatient.)

Since that time, the wait for families has increased significantly and it is now about 18 months and those turning in paperwork now are being told it may go as high as 3 years! Ouch! That really hurts when you are longing to hold a little one!

During our first adoption, we had the privilege of meeting several families who adopted through the Waiting Child program, which places children with medical needs and older children. We also had a family in our first travel group discover their little girl had a significant heart condition. We learned there are no guarantees and our hearts were open to many special needs.

In Nov. 2006, we didn't know that halfway around the world a beautiful little girl was born. But we did know our hearts were telling us it was time to begin the journey to our second child. We began preparing our paperwork right around that time and after Thanksgiving, turned it in to our agency, Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI.)

I like to think that the red thread that the Chinese believe connects those destined to be together, had already been spun and was pulling us toward our little Tian. For the waiting child (WC) program, we filled out a Medical Condition Checklist where we listed which needs we were open to and the age and sex of the child we hoped to adopt. The wait to be matched in this program has been running around 8 mos. -- 1 year for most families. So we were very surprised to get the call only 1 day short of 6 mos. And for a little girl under 12 mos. Many families ask for girls under 12 mos., so I was pretty sure we'd be matched with a little boy around 2 years old. So we were surprised and delighted that we were matched with this beautiful little girl so young so soon. We can't wait to bring her home!

Welcome to the Family Tian

2007-05-31T23:25:00.000-06:00

We are delighted to announce the referral of our newest daughter and sister. Her Chinese name is Lian Tian Xin (which means Heart of Heaven!) We are planning to call her Tian Xin Bragg Torbenson. She was born on Nov. 2, 2006 and lives in Lianyungang, Jiangsu, China.

Her most recent updates on May 10 and 12th, 2007 are brief but tell us:

Weight: 15.65 lbs.
Height: 2 ft., 1.6 inches (25.6 inches)
Head: 16.14 inches
Feet: 3.94 inches
No teeth yet.
She has had x-rays and been seen by a physician. Her health is good.
She can use her fingers to grasp things.
She is a good sleeper!
She is a happy baby!!!!

We got a description dated March 9, 2007 which says (I highlighted my favorite parts):

"When Lian Tian Xin entered the orphanage, her height was 46 cm, weight 2.9 kg, chest circumference 30 cm, and head circumference 31 cm. A physical exam found that her left middle finger was missing, she had syndactyly of her right hand, and both feet were forked with three missing toes. Her physical exam found no other abnormalities. According to her physical condition, we estimated her birth date to be November 2, 2006. We named her Lian Tian Xin. “Lian” is the same “lian” as in Lianyungang. “Tian” is the sky or heaven, and “Xin” comes from the word for happiness. We hope that she wil be happy every day!

When Lian Tian Xin entered the orphanage, she was thin and small, but under the meticulous care of the nannies, she grew bigger day by day. When she was two months old, she could smile. Her eyes could follow a moving object. When she was three months old, she could turn over from her back to her side, and she could make “yi ya” sounds. Now she can laugh out loud, and she likes the nanny to hold her and play with her. Currently her height is 59 cm, weight 5.7 kg, chest circumference 39 cm, head circumference 38 cm, sitting height 38 cm, and foot length 9.5 cm. She has no teeth yet. Her physical growth and development is good.

Lian Tian Xin’s life follows a regular routine. She wakes up at 6:00 am, naps from 11:30 am to 2:00 pm, and goes to bed at 8:00 pm. She has seven meals a day at 4:00 am, 8:00 am, 2:00 pm, 6:00 pm, and midnight. She also has supplemental meals at 10:30 am and 4:30 pm. Her main diet is milk-based formula and rice-based formula, and her supplemental food includes fruit juice and egg yolk. She has one to two BMs a day, usually after waking up in the morning and after dinner. She urinates eight to ten times a day. She sleeps soundly and needs to go potty once or twice during the night. She cries when she is hungry or has a wet diaper.

Lian Tian Xin is an active and lovely little girl. She has fair and clear skin, a round face, large eyes, and a rosy complexion. She responds quickly and gets along well with other children. When someone holds her and plays with her, she will happily wave her hands and feet. She is a bright and pretty little girl."

On that same day, we also got a checklist type form that tells us the following things:

She wakes up at 6 a.m., has nap from 11:30a.m. to 2 p.m. and goes to bed at 8 p.m.
She eats at 4 a.m., 8 a.m., 2 p.m., 6 p.m. and midnight. With supplemental meals at 10:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m.
She has a good appetite.
She eats milk formula mixed with rice formula (that's goopy rice cereal mixed in with formula in a bottle usually served piping hot for those not in the adoptive community), plus water. Her supplemental food are egg yolk and fruit juice.
She poops 1-2 times a day and pees 8-10 times a day plus 1-2 at night.
Her favorite activity is listening to music.
Her favorite toy is a cloth doll.
She holds her head up while lying on her tummy and rolls over on her own.
She visually follows moving toys and locates the direction of sounds.
She laughs aloud.
She is active, restless and fond of imitating.
She has a ready smile and quick reactions.
She is impatient sometimes.
She loves her caretaker.

That is about all we know about our beautiful new daughter! Other adoptive parents know that you hang on every little scrap of info. and every photo when your baby is half a world away. We can't wait to learn more!

The Call

2007-05-26T22:55:00.000-06:00

We got the call on the morning of May 24th, totally out of the blue. What a huge and joyous surprise in so many ways!

I had just returned from a business trip to Las Vegas the night before. It had been a long, tiring trip and flights were delayed on the way home. Finally got home around 10 p.m. and crawled into bed. The next morning, I called into work and said I needed the day off. I was groggy, had no clean clothes and hadn't seen Clio for four days. Dane was off to work early as usual. I spent some extra time with Clio, got her off to day care and then (yes, really) went back to bed.

At some point the doorbell rang. I'm dead asleep. I try to find a robe to go answer it, but by the time I did, no one was there. Then my cell phone starts ringing. More fumbling around with my unpacked luggage and I find it, but miss the call. The caller ID shows it was for our housecleaner Jeanie, so I'm thinking she must have forgot the code to get in and rang the doorbell and then called. I'm trying to call her back and the phone rings again. I assume it is Jeanie and I'm feeling a little annoyed so I say, "Hey..."

And instead of Jeanie, I get, "Jeannene...this is Pam from CCAI." Holy cow?!? Am I dreaming? Nope, I'm now fully awake. This is about two months earlier than I had predicted we'd get a call. What is going on? Maybe an issue with our paperwork? Or maybe....

Pam asks me some questions about our openness to physical differences. I say we are pretty open to stuff on the outside...it's some of the internal stuff I'd have a harder time dealing with. She asks about limb differences. I say yes, we're open to that but don't know a lot about it. She says she has a file for a child with pretty severe differences to all four hands and feet. I start shaking and my heart is pounding. This is a referral call!

I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. This is IT! Or is it? It sounds like this child's needs are something that could be pretty significant and I don't know if we can handle it.

Pam describes a beautiful little girl (surprise #2!). We were expecting a little boy. There are less people who request boys in the waiting child program and we are open to one, so I was sure we would be adding a son to our family.

Pam says that this litle girl is missing fingers and toes and that her feet are "cleft." I ask if she will be able to walk and Pam says she doesn't know. She asks if we are interested in seeing the file and I say, "Yes," We are really open to physical differences, but a child who couldn't walk might be more of a challenge then we are ready for.

She asks if I want all the photos and I say "Of course!....why would you ask that?" She says some families do not want to see photos until they decide if they could deal with the medical needs as they don't want to get too attached. I am stunned by this. I want to see who this little girl is! A person is so much more than their differences and I have to decide if this little one is meant to be ours. I want every scrap of information I can get.

I ask a few other routine questions. We almost hang up and I remember, I haven't asked her age. She's 6 mos. says Pam. (Surprise #3). Again, I am stunned. Most of the children in this program are older. I was expecting a referral for a 2 year old little boy in about two months. Instead I'm on the phone now and am being asked about a very young little girl! Good thing I love surprises! Pam says she'll email me all the information she has.

I call Dane. "Hi Sweetie....I think we just got a referral call!" He is shocked too. I tell him what I know and we agree to pull up the email together. Only problem is, no email. We wait. Still no email.

I call Pam back...she's at lunch! Oh my. How are we supposed to wait? I spend the next hour doing some basic research into hand and foot differences. Pam calls. Resends the email. (The original one arrives a few hours later...what was that about???) I tell Dane that I am going to want her once we see her. My only concern is if she will be able to walk.

Dane and I open it while on the phone together. She is absolutely beautiful! So plump and so cute! We see photos of her hands and feet. They are different, but not nearly as severe as I'd expected. Her feet have deep clefts. That continues to be our concern. We both want her right away, but Dane says we need to do our homework and make sure we have the medical resources she'll need. He's right of course. So the research begins...

We decide not to tell anyone, including Clio, until we've made our decision.