Welcome to the Family Tian

We are delighted to announce the referral of our newest daughter and sister. Her Chinese name is Lian Tian Xin (which means Heart of Heaven!) We are planning to call her Tian Xin Bragg Torbenson. She was born on Nov. 2, 2006 and lives in Lianyungang, Jiangsu, China.

Her most recent updates on May 10 and 12th, 2007 are brief but tell us:

• Weight: 15.65 lbs.
• Height: 2 ft., 1.6 inches (25.6 inches)
• Head: 16.14 inches
• Feet: 3.94 inches
• No teeth yet.
  
• She has had x-rays and been seen by a physician. Her health is good.
• She can use her fingers to grasp things.
• She is a good sleeper!
• She is a happy baby!!!!

We got a description dated March 9, 2007 which says (I highlighted my favorite parts):

"When Lian Tian Xin entered the orphanage, her height was 46 cm, weight 2.9 kg, chest circumference 30 cm, and head circumference 31 cm. A physical exam found that her left middle finger was missing, she had syndactyly of her right hand, and both feet were forked with three missing toes. Her physical exam found no other abnormalities. According to her physical condition, we estimated her birth date to be November 2, 2006. We named her Lian Tian Xin. “Lian” is the same “lian” as in Lianyungang. “Tian” is the sky or heaven, and “Xin” comes from the word for happiness. We hope that she wil be happy every day!

When Lian Tian Xin entered the orphanage, she was thin and small, but under the meticulous care of the nannies, she grew bigger day by day. When she was two months old, she could smile. Her eyes could follow a moving object. When she was three months old, she could turn over from her back to her side, and she could make “yi ya” sounds. Now she can laugh out loud, and she likes the nanny to hold her and play with her. Currently her height is 59 cm, weight 5.7 kg, chest circumference 39 cm, head circumference 38 cm, sitting height 38 cm, and foot length 9.5 cm. She has no teeth yet. Her physical growth and development is good.

Lian Tian Xin’s life follows a regular routine. She wakes up at 6:00 am, naps from 11:30 am to 2:00 pm, and goes to bed at 8:00 pm. She has seven meals a day at 4:00 am, 8:00 am, 2:00 pm, 6:00 pm, and midnight. She also has supplemental meals at 10:30 am and 4:30 pm. Her main diet is milk-based formula and rice-based formula, and her supplemental food includes fruit juice and egg yolk. She has one to two BMs a day, usually after waking up in the morning and after dinner. She urinates eight to ten times a day. She sleeps soundly and needs to go potty once or twice during the night. She cries when she is hungry or has a wet diaper.

Lian Tian Xin is an active and lovely little girl. She has fair and clear skin, a round face, large eyes, and a rosy complexion. She responds quickly and gets along well with other children. When someone holds her and plays with her, she will happily wave her hands and feet. She is a bright and pretty little girl."

On that same day, we also got a checklist type form that tells us the following things:

• She wakes up at 6 a.m., has nap from 11:30a.m. to 2 p.m. and goes to bed at 8 p.m.
• She eats at 4 a.m., 8 a.m., 2 p.m., 6 p.m. and midnight. With supplemental meals at 10:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m.
• She has a good appetite.
• She eats milk formula mixed with rice formula (that's goopy rice cereal mixed in with formula in a bottle usually served piping hot for those not in the adoptive community), plus water. Her supplemental food are egg yolk and fruit juice.
  
• She poops 1-2 times a day and pees 8-10 times a day plus 1-2 at night.
• Her favorite activity is listening to music.
• Her favorite toy is a cloth doll.
• She holds her head up while lying on her tummy and rolls over on her own.
• She visually follows moving toys and locates the direction of sounds.
• She laughs aloud.
• She is active, restless and fond of imitating.
• She has a ready smile and quick reactions.
• She is impatient sometimes.
• She loves her caretaker.

That is about all we know about our beautiful new daughter! Other adoptive parents know that you hang on every little scrap of info. and every photo when your baby is half a world away. We can't wait to learn more!

The Call

We got the call on the morning of May 24th, totally out of the blue. What a huge and joyous surprise in so many ways!

I had just returned from a business trip to Las Vegas the night before. It had been a long, tiring trip and flights were delayed on the way home. Finally got home around 10 p.m. and crawled into bed. The next morning, I called into work and said I needed the day off. I was groggy, had no clean clothes and hadn't seen Clio for four days. Dane was off to work early as usual. I spent some extra time with Clio, got her off to day care and then (yes, really) went back to bed.

At some point the doorbell rang. I'm dead asleep. I try to find a robe to go answer it, but by the time I did, no one was there. Then my cell phone starts ringing. More fumbling around with my unpacked luggage and I find it, but miss the call. The caller ID shows it was for our housecleaner Jeanie, so I'm thinking she must have forgot the code to get in and rang the doorbell and then called. I'm trying to call her back and the phone rings again. I assume it is Jeanie and I'm feeling a little annoyed so I say, "Hey..."

And instead of Jeanie, I get, "Jeannene...this is Pam from CCAI." Holy cow?!? Am I dreaming? Nope, I'm now fully awake. This is about two months earlier than I had predicted we'd get a call. What is going on? Maybe an issue with our paperwork? Or maybe....

Pam asks me some questions about our openness to physical differences. I say we are pretty open to stuff on the outside...it's some of the internal stuff I'd have a harder time dealing with. She asks about limb differences. I say yes, we're open to that but don't know a lot about it. She says she has a file for a child with pretty severe differences to all four hands and feet. I start shaking and my heart is pounding. This is a referral call!

I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. This is IT! Or is it? It sounds like this child's needs are something that could be pretty significant and I don't know if we can handle it.

Pam describes a beautiful little girl (surprise #2!). We were expecting a little boy. There are less people who request boys in the waiting child program and we are open to one, so I was sure we would be adding a son to our family.

Pam says that this litle girl is missing fingers and toes and that her feet are "cleft." I ask if she will be able to walk and Pam says she doesn't know. She asks if we are interested in seeing the file and I say, "Yes," We are really open to physical differences, but a child who couldn't walk might be more of a challenge then we are ready for.

She asks if I want all the photos and I say "Of course!....why would you ask that?" She says some families do not want to see photos until they decide if they could deal with the medical needs as they don't want to get too attached. I am stunned by this. I want to see who this little girl is! A person is so much more than their differences and I have to decide if this little one is meant to be ours. I want every scrap of information I can get.

I ask a few other routine questions. We almost hang up and I remember, I haven't asked her age. She's 6 mos. says Pam. (Surprise #3). Again, I am stunned. Most of the children in this program are older. I was expecting a referral for a 2 year old little boy in about two months. Instead I'm on the phone now and am being asked about a very young little girl! Good thing I love surprises! Pam says she'll email me all the information she has.

I call Dane. "Hi Sweetie....I think we just got a referral call!" He is shocked too. I tell him what I know and we agree to pull up the email together. Only problem is, no email. We wait. Still no email.

I call Pam back...she's at lunch! Oh my. How are we supposed to wait? I spend the next hour doing some basic research into hand and foot differences. Pam calls. Resends the email. (The original one arrives a few hours later...what was that about???) I tell Dane that I am going to want her once we see her. My only concern is if she will be able to walk.

Dane and I open it while on the phone together. She is absolutely beautiful! So plump and so cute! We see photos of her hands and feet. They are different, but not nearly as severe as I'd expected. Her feet have deep clefts. That continues to be our concern. We both want her right away, but Dane says we need to do our homework and make sure we have the medical resources she'll need. He's right of course. So the research begins...

We decide not to tell anyone, including Clio, until we've made our decision.