The Call

We got the call on the morning of May 24th, totally out of the blue. What a huge and joyous surprise in so many ways!

I had just returned from a business trip to Las Vegas the night before. It had been a long, tiring trip and flights were delayed on the way home. Finally got home around 10 p.m. and crawled into bed. The next morning, I called into work and said I needed the day off. I was groggy, had no clean clothes and hadn't seen Clio for four days. Dane was off to work early as usual. I spent some extra time with Clio, got her off to day care and then (yes, really) went back to bed.

At some point the doorbell rang. I'm dead asleep. I try to find a robe to go answer it, but by the time I did, no one was there. Then my cell phone starts ringing. More fumbling around with my unpacked luggage and I find it, but miss the call. The caller ID shows it was for our housecleaner Jeanie, so I'm thinking she must have forgot the code to get in and rang the doorbell and then called. I'm trying to call her back and the phone rings again. I assume it is Jeanie and I'm feeling a little annoyed so I say, "Hey..."

And instead of Jeanie, I get, "Jeannene...this is Pam from CCAI." Holy cow?!? Am I dreaming? Nope, I'm now fully awake. This is about two months earlier than I had predicted we'd get a call. What is going on? Maybe an issue with our paperwork? Or maybe....

Pam asks me some questions about our openness to physical differences. I say we are pretty open to stuff on the outside...it's some of the internal stuff I'd have a harder time dealing with. She asks about limb differences. I say yes, we're open to that but don't know a lot about it. She says she has a file for a child with pretty severe differences to all four hands and feet. I start shaking and my heart is pounding. This is a referral call!

I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. This is IT! Or is it? It sounds like this child's needs are something that could be pretty significant and I don't know if we can handle it.

Pam describes a beautiful little girl (surprise #2!). We were expecting a little boy. There are less people who request boys in the waiting child program and we are open to one, so I was sure we would be adding a son to our family.

Pam says that this litle girl is missing fingers and toes and that her feet are "cleft." I ask if she will be able to walk and Pam says she doesn't know. She asks if we are interested in seeing the file and I say, "Yes," We are really open to physical differences, but a child who couldn't walk might be more of a challenge then we are ready for.

She asks if I want all the photos and I say "Of course!....why would you ask that?" She says some families do not want to see photos until they decide if they could deal with the medical needs as they don't want to get too attached. I am stunned by this. I want to see who this little girl is! A person is so much more than their differences and I have to decide if this little one is meant to be ours. I want every scrap of information I can get.

I ask a few other routine questions. We almost hang up and I remember, I haven't asked her age. She's 6 mos. says Pam. (Surprise #3). Again, I am stunned. Most of the children in this program are older. I was expecting a referral for a 2 year old little boy in about two months. Instead I'm on the phone now and am being asked about a very young little girl! Good thing I love surprises! Pam says she'll email me all the information she has.

I call Dane. "Hi Sweetie....I think we just got a referral call!" He is shocked too. I tell him what I know and we agree to pull up the email together. Only problem is, no email. We wait. Still no email.

I call Pam back...she's at lunch! Oh my. How are we supposed to wait? I spend the next hour doing some basic research into hand and foot differences. Pam calls. Resends the email. (The original one arrives a few hours later...what was that about???) I tell Dane that I am going to want her once we see her. My only concern is if she will be able to walk.

Dane and I open it while on the phone together. She is absolutely beautiful! So plump and so cute! We see photos of her hands and feet. They are different, but not nearly as severe as I'd expected. Her feet have deep clefts. That continues to be our concern. We both want her right away, but Dane says we need to do our homework and make sure we have the medical resources she'll need. He's right of course. So the research begins...

We decide not to tell anyone, including Clio, until we've made our decision.